Work is bleeding into family life and family commitments never quit my mind. Days and nights have become a big blah. I know it’s pouring on my blog reflecting in my absence. I squirm every time I see the WP icon on my phone. I want to open it and be a part of this world. I want to be present with you amazing writers, some of whom I have gotten to call my friend. But I know when I do get on, there will be a zillion things my mind will zoom in on and my soul will zoom out.

I blame Covid because why not!? It’s spoiled so much. Today is my day to rant so I will lock up the optimistic self and embrace a pity party.

To be fair it’s not like I haven’t been busy or doing anything at all —

I relocated in this pandemic (wiping, sanitizing all the way) to a different house, different city, and even a different state (a post on this should be coming soon, no promises though!).

I made a handful of masks for a local old age community. Granted that’s not that difficult a thing and a work I shouldn’t talk about (mom says, “let your good deeds do the talking rather than you”). I am mentioning because it was the first time I ever tried my hands on sewing and felt good.

I made my kids their study desks for virtual school learning. They love it and their smiles, oh their smiles!

I started my Facebook page for the writing I do, something I always wanted to do. Haven’t been too active there either but an action item struck from the never ending to-do list.

Yet, I feel mentally empty, emotionally exhausted and physically, well tired, very tired.

I know this post makes zero sense and I know tomorrow will be better. I will wake up and find a way to fix my messy mind (may be) but today, just for today, can I be!! Can I be messy?!