These days I find myself ogling my kids’ babyhood pictures and videos a lot more.
My mommy heart aches albeit with a bit of a relief to realize that I no longer am a mother of infants.
The tiresome days of diapers and daycares, which at that moment felt like an eternity have passed me by.
The “two (babies) under 5 (years)” days that bled into nights and nights that turned me into a zombie have vanished too.
My kids have grown up and with them my motherhood has grown too.
I pick them up more clumsily and with a lot more effort now although they still like to cuddle and collapse in my arms.
Mommy and me classes are a thing of the past although they still want me to watch them play baseball and perform gymnastics.
Their constant need to touch me has melted away but their eyes still search for me in a crowd.
chapter books have replaced picture ones which they can read well by themselves but every now and then they still insist I read to them.
High fives and fist bumps have become much more pervasive although I can still get kisses and hugs at school dismissals.
Play mates are completely their choosing now although I still run their play dates.
They are creating space of their own, in places of their own, but I am still allowed to invade those
Doors to their rooms have gotten, “please knock” signs in bold although it still stays flung open for me.
They are much more independent being their own people although not completely away from being extensions of me.
While their yester years feel less and less a conversation of “just yesterday”, they still haven’t taken the tag of a “lifetime ago”.
But I know well, that very soon it will happen too. The day my babies will no longer be babies. The day when their exploration outside my vicinity will be a bit longer and a bit further. And for that I am not ready today.
So here’s to holding them a bit longer, kissing them a bit harder and hugging them a stronger.
Here’s to playing more board games, having a lot many sleepovers in media room, making silly faces while laughing like maniacs, and having water fights.
Here’s to marveling at their growth and hoping that when their grown up day finally arrives and I find myself reflecting once again, I can say, I made plenty of memories and I lived every moment to the fullest.